(more about author on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook – buttons are in this blog)
Love’s got everything to do with everything. But first we need to establish what we mean by „love“. Let’s get on the same book before we go through the pages.
What is love and why is it symbolized by a heart?
Think about those moments you were excited about, enthralled or inspired by something. That amazing vacation you were packing up for, that dinner you were invited to, that job you were so wishing to have and you finally got, that amazing painting that captured your attention and gave you a beautiful feeling, that piece of music you could not get enough of that gave you an indescribable feeling of joy….I could give you thousands of examples. But if you think about all those instances, whatever they might be, I am sure you will agree that their common denominator is: your heart was beating faster than usual . Excitement does that to you. We get excited because we’re happy. And when we are experiencing love, we are also happy. Of course there are other less positive incidences that make our hearts beat faster too. When you get angry, nervous or stressed, when you drink too much coffee or smoke (ok….promise not to preach too much in this article…laughs….).
It is obvious that whatever emotions we’re feeling affect our heartbeat. Now, if you have noticed, when your heart is beating faster, it is impossible for you to fall asleep. By the same token, if you are happy and excited about something, the last thing you would be able to do is to sleep. But if you are not excited, let’s say worse, if you’re bored, you will tend to fall asleep faster than usual. Think about that boring meeting you attended, or the boring movies you watched with someone else, and if the person you were watching it with was dull too, oh well….double boredom (my heartfelt sympathies! laughs…) or those boring dinners where all you could do was yawn. These are instances of your heart beating slower than its usual. Even if you were an insomniac, you could easily fall asleep in these situations (laughs….)
Why ist that? Well…when your heart is beating slower, you are not emotionally connected to what you are experiencing. The weaker your connection to your experience, the higher the chances of flatlining. Love is the spark of life…the spark that keeps you alive!
Love is not something to criticize!
The English language uses the word „love“ way more often than some other languages. Germans, for instance (I have to give examples of the languages I speak) are very careful with the word „love“. While an English speaking person uses the word very freely, the careful, untrusting German chooses a different word. The English speaking person says: I love that coffee, food, place, song, etc…The German says: I like to drink that coffee, eat that food, I think that’s a good place, I like that song, etc…… Very rarely do Germans use the verb „love“, and that is part of the cultural and linguistic upbringing. They will even criticize those who do, because to them it is not possible to „just love“ things. They deem it as shallow and fake. There is a deep-rooted belief in the German culture that „love“ is a rare instance and cannot be felt for the collective. The French, on the contrary, go even as far as „adoring“ things and people. They don’t just love, they adore, which makes the experience even more emotional and intense. I can say, for myself, that I almost always get a warm feeling when I‘m around a French speaking person. Of course it does help that I speak the language. So what we speak, and how we communicate has a lot to do with the feelings we create. You don’t speak a language because you are a certain way, rather the other way around. You come across a certain way because of the language you speak and how you communicate, and through time, this can shape a person, a cuture and an entire nation. Now, could it be that one culture is experiencing more love than another?
Indeed yes. Language shapes thought. That’s why Germans come across as cold and unloving people. If you get to know them well, you will find out that not all of them are cold and unloving (well, most and many of them are….laughs…). It’s just the way they express themselves. And how you express yourself shapes your thoughts, and your thoughs are you! Now let me explain my take on that. If you really enjoy something and express your feelings of enjoyment, you will enjoy it even more. Your expession reinforces the feelings you are already feeling. If you like the taste of a particular coffee a lot, and you say you love it while you’re drinking it, you will experience a higher level of pleasure. This is called the „power of suggestion“. Now this is not to say that everyone who says they love something really does love it in the same intensity. To feel the love, you have to feel the love, and not to say you love. You get me? Saying it only reinforces an already existing feeling. So if you express something you have to express it honestly. And if you don’t like the coffee, then damn it, neither drink it nor express it (laughs….). I guess what I’m trying to say is: if you don’t have anything nice to express, express nothing! It’s better for you and the whole world! If you feel love, express it, if you feel hate, keep a lid on it and make sure you are quarantined and there is no risk of you infecting the rest of the world! Do you get me now!? Caveat: If the coffee you did not like was forced down your throat, then by all means make sure you express your repulsion! (laughs…) Remember: As long as there is freedom of choice, it would be healthier and more conducive for all people involved to engage in things that lead to feelings of love and shift their focus and presence away from those things that don’t spark the feelings of love. It is actually easier done that said. If you don’t like sunny weather, sit home and love your dark living room and express how much you love sitting home in your dark living-room, and how that makes you happy. Spread that love by expressing it instead of spreading your hatred towards sunshine! (laughs…..but seriously!)
Here’s how I see love…
Love is an experience that makes you feel happy, and that happiness makes your heart beat faster. Now the delicious coffee might make your heart beat faster for more reasons than your love for it (laughs…). Whether or not what we love is good for us (your dark living-room, for example!) is another question. But the truth is, every time we love anything, in that moment our heart is beating faster. That’s why the symbol of love is heart and not liver, or stomach, or whatnot! (laughs…).
Now we can’t possibly love everything, or can we? Well, it all depends on you and what you do or choose to do. If you choose the things you love, then you experience more love. Yet again, we can’t always choose to do only the things we love. One thing is for sure, though, you should never do something you hate unless you are coerced . So let’s take that right out of our equation. If you fill your life with things, people and activities you like and love, you can only experience love. The sum of like and love is love. No doubt. It’s like mixing sugar with honey. The outcome is still sweet. But there are people out there who just hate on things. They hate their jobs, neighbors, society, even coffee (laughs….), damn it…even your favorite coffee! What’s wrong with these people? I’ll tell you what’s wrong with them: they lack love. And as you have understood me so far, we are not talking about romantic love. We mean love the way I described. These people flatline on anything and everything. They’re the walking dead, and the only thing that keeps them alive is their hatred! (sad, sad, sad…..or should I say scary?). If you start loving life you will see that life will love you right back! And the first step towards loving life is living it!
Love’s got everything to do with it!
Life is about love. Love is everything. Love’s got everything to do with it. From the moment you wake up until you go to bed there are many loving experiences, only if you recognize them. You can love the feeling of warm water on your skin when you take a shower in the morning. You can love the smell and taste of your coffee brewing in you kitchen (by now you might have concluded I am a coffee addict! laughs…). You can love the sound of rain on your window pane while you are drinking that coffee you love, and you can look out the window and love the beautiful trees, the sky, the sun, even the clouds. You can love your job and the people you work with. You can love your neighbors when they smile at you and say hello (and just ignore them when they don’t while wishing them love). You can love that subway driver who waits just for you to get in, before he drives off. You can love the cashier who wishes you a nice day (even if she/he doesn’t…..laughs). You can love that lunch you order, because you ordered your favorite lunch and you can only love it. You can love that beautiful painting on your wall. You can love your freedom, especially knowing that freedom is not granted everywhere in this world. It is your duty, as a human being, to love and spread love. If you are a dead piece of wood, however, it would be hard to expect that of you! (laughs…). Of course you can also choose to ignore all of the above and continue your day oblivious to your blessings. In that case you are neither hating nor loving, you are just ignoring. And this ignorance will certainly not help you experience emotions of love.
happens when you’re ignoring your world?
If there is no feeling of love connected to what you are doing or experiencing, what are you feeling then? Have you ever asked yourself this question? I believe that when there is no love or like, there is apathy. Love can have different shades and intensities, but apathy is the abyss of nothingness, an absolute nothingness. On a daily basis, there are a myriad of things and experiences available to you that you can love or like (keep in mind: like is a fainter offspring of love). The question is, why shouldn’t you acknowledge them by expressing your love in words? Now let’s look at the other side of the coin. What if you are not experiencing the feeling of hate? Does that mean you are loving? The way I look at it , the answer would be NOT NECESSARILY. Again, you could just be experiencing apathy. So now the obvious answer to the 64 million dollar question: „Is the absence of love the same as the presence of hate?“ would also be a definite NO. Hate is a stronger version of dislike. Love is a stronger version of like. If I don’t hate something, I might still dislike it, so no love there. If I don’t love something, I might still like it, so no hate there. Do I sound like Aristotle to you now? (laughs…..sort of….). So don‘t be ingorant of your environment. There are so many things to like and love. Just take a pick and begin! Not hating is not enough! Not disliking is neither here nor there. If you want to feel alive, and know that your presence is making a happy difference, you have to first get rid of your apathy, and then direct it towards the feelings of love. The absence of hate is sure better than its presence. But to experience love, you have to actively love. Stop ignoring your environment. Open your eyes and consciously look for things and people you know you will like and love. If you do this actively, you will feel a world of difference in your energy. And by energy, I mean your aura. You aura is what you radiate, and what you radiate affects yourself and the ones in your radius! 😉
Love is fuel efficient and better for your environment!
If you want to be in an elevated state of mind, you have to make sure you have no love deficiency. The lower your love deficiency the more elevated your spirit, and that is what you project onto others. Make love the fuel of your life and you‘ll move faster and lighter. People who are continuously disliking or hating spread bad energy. If you mix a highly deadly poison with a less potent poison it will still be deadly poison! If your days are filled with dislikes (less potent poision) and hates (highly deadly poison), you will be a deadly poison to yourself and the people around you! Not to mention that hating drains your energy and makes you heavier! It’s a waste of energy! Hating is not fuel efficient and pollutes your environment!
Put a little love in everything!
Put a little love in everything you do, and it will taste sweeter! And if you think you are not capable of liking something, let alone loving it, then you have no business doing it or being around it to begin with! Shift your focus away from it and put that valuable focus of yours on something you do like or love. This is how you can generate more love. And if you consciously do that you will never be love deficient. This means you will spread that love and elevate the spirit of other people around you as well. Sharing love does not diminish it, on the contrary, it multiplies it. It’s like a virus. Same with hate. Share your hate, put it on people and things, and soon you will have nothing but hate and toxicity around you.
Have you ever made the experience of stepping into a room of people and immediately feeling anxious or nervous? It’s enough for one single loatheful person in your environment to poison the atmosphere. You will feel it right away. The more loatheful people you have in your environment, the harder it gets to literally breathe, unless you are one of them and feed off of toxicity. As we all know, poison does not kill poison! (sad laughs….). By the same token, when you step into a room and immediatey feel at ease and warm, it’s most definitely because of the love one person or more people emanated at that moment. The more loving people are in your environment, the better and fuzzier you will feel. That’s how it goes. That’s what we mean by good vibes and bad vibes, and sad vibes. Good vibes is the presence of love, sad vibes is the absence of love. And bad vibes is the presence of toxic hatred. You see? You see why love’s got everything to do with it?
How to consciously boost your experience of love?
The more time you spend outside your home or office or home office (laughs…) the more the possibilities of finding even more things to love. Sure, you can be loving your job and home, but wouldn’t that be too limiting? You can expand your love horizon by the sheer expansion of your physical horizon. You can take a walk outside, on the street, in the park, anywhere you like and find many impressions you can love. That’s called inspiration and inspiration is a form of love. You can drive less and use public transportation more. Being out there with people makes you more real. Real world is about people in all places and not just at work. People whose world begins and ends somewhere between their living quarters and their workplace (or work commitments, whatever and wherever they might be) have a very stunted view of the world, and by „the world“ I don’t mean our planet earth, I mean the realm of existence, which includes people, things and places. These people might be so-called „globe trotters“ and might have been on endless trips around the world, but they have never connected to people and things at a conscious level. They have limited their experience to getting from A to B and taking care of business. I can’t begin to tell you how sad that is. Remember! The more you connect with your environment the higher your chances of feeling love. Again, I’m not referring to romantic love. On a daily basis, I love the trees, flowers, some streets, some cafes, some restaurants, some parks, some foods, some scenes I observe in the public, etc…. the list goes on and on and I consciously express that love verbally, not worrying how some other people with love deficiency might deem that as shallow! Now caveat: if you notice you are approaching things and people that dampen your spirit, just walk the other way instead of staying there and hating them! Not hating is conducive to experiencing less bad vibes. Imagine you have a very thick winter sweater on and you are sweating. Would it make any sense to hate the heat and sweat you are experiencing? Or wouldn’t it be more logical to just take your sweater off? Any crowd, area or place that is making you sweat is that sweater you don’t need to be wearing! Take it off and put on a T-shirt and you’ll be loving it! Hope you got my analogy.
So why love? Can we be happy without it, be it romantic or non romantic?
Because it is easy. Loving is the most natural and the easiest of all feelings. And I do truly believe that without it a human being is not able to be happy. Not even a dog will be happy without love. It is an instinct we are all born with. Why not activate it in as many areas as possible? It is bestowed upon us, yet we choose to ignore it! Why do we do this? It is one of the easiest things to do on this planet.
we learn how to love?
Of course we can. It is a conscious experience. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. The more you do it, the better you will get at it, until it becomes such an integral part of you that it would be unimaginable for you to live without it. And that will certainly radiate from you. When you radiate love, you’ll produce more of it. The more you produce love the more loving your environment….and this vicious circle is not so „vicious“ at all! It is an absolutely fabulous circle.!
Do we have to force love?
Of course not! If you absolutely don’t like something or someone, you don’t have to force yourself into liking or loving it or them. All you need to do is to shift your focus towards something or someone you do like or love. It is all about where you put your focus. And if you find yourself chronically disliking or hating things and people, then maybe it is time you sought professional help by a psychiatrist!
there things or people that don’t deserve our love?
Possible, but you will never find out unless you try. You should always give things and people the benefit of a doubt. You can’t just hate things and people without a reason. If you feel like hating without a reason, again, do consult a shrink! If love does not come to you naturally, you seriously need medical and mental assistance. Love is like appetite. If you chronically and perpetually don’t feel hungry, you will definitely pay a visit to a physician or you will be malnourished. Love is food for your soul. The less you experience it the more malnourished and undernourished your soul will be. An undernourished soul is a dead piece of wood. Do you want to be that dead piece of wood? If yes, well….Wood Luck! (sad laughs….)
Think about those people you met who gave you the impression of a dead piece of wood. Would you like to be them? Is that what you aspire to be? A dead piece of wood? Do you think the dead piece of wood will ever grow? A dead piece of wood is dead!
Like many other things in a free society, how we live life is a matter of our own choice. Not only that, it is a conscious choice we make without even acknowledging it is conscious. How we live depends on the sum total of our choices. That’s what life is really all about. Sum total of all our choices. We are free beings with free will. Why we don’t tap into love more often is only our own shortcoming. We are the sole culprits of our destiny. It is not written in the stars, it is all in our hands, or should I say hearts! Stars are just signs and synchronicities that help and guide us towards what we already know to be true. Every time you are unsure, ask yourself this simple question: do I want to be as good as a dead piece of wood?