Light As A Feather

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.” — C. JoyBell C.

Do you sometimes feel weighed down, finding it hard to just get up and go? If you could just find the source of what is bogging you down, things would be a hell of a lot easier, wouldn’t it? Well, let me tell you…things ARE easier, if you just let them be. All you have to do is release the psychic weight. Here, I’ve got three simple tips on how to release this weight.

Author and owner of this blog: Queen of Wands , link below:

1.Seek out opportunities for humor and laughter.

….and it costs nothing!

Laughter is a medicine. I am sure it’s not the first time you’ve heard this. Laughter boosts your mood, lightens your burdens, inspires your thoughts, pushes away negative emotions, connects you to your soul, keeps you energized, and gives you that powerful push called your „oomph“! It costs nothing and you don’t have to schedule an appointment to get to it. All you have to do is to do it. And the easiest way to just do it is by seeking out opportunities for humor and laughter. You can improve your emotional health, your relationships with all sorts of people, and find greater happiness….this might help you live a little longer, healthier, and a lot happier! Laughter might not only add a few years to your life, it will definitely add life to your years!

You lose nothing and gain a lot by laughing.

Medically speaking, experts say: „laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can in turn protect you against heart attack and other cardiovascular problems….“ Now, seeing from my point of view and experience, laughing connects you to your heart, your soul, and your spirit. This is me…this is how I look at things. So feel free to laugh now! I am glad I can give people a reason to laugh. You see, people who don’t laugh, or laugh rarely, have a closed heart, not just to others but also to themselves. That medically proven „increased bloodflow“, I believe, also increases your own state of „flow“. When you laugh, you are in the moment. When you are wholeheartedly laughing, you can’t possibly be thinking about a past grudge, or some jerk, or stormy weather. You get me? Laughing puts you in „the flow“. And well, it doesn’t just, as seen from the doctor¹s point of view, „protect you against heart attack“, it also protects others from being attacked BY YOU! (Laughs….) If you laugh, you cannot be angry. Laughter and anger are oxymorons. People who laugh, I mean truly laugh- I’m not talking about sarcastic laughers! Caveat! Those guys are nasty! I am talking about people who laugh from the bottom of their heart- think about those people…they are friendly, kind and pleasant to be around. They help you get into your „flow“ and stay in it. If you get to know such people, by all means let them flow your boat….and happy smooth sailing! Surrounding yourself by people who laugh more often than not will also help you feel lighter. Remember: you don’t stop laughter because you’ve grown older…you grow older because you’ve stopped laughing!

(Reminder: the post you are reading is written by author/blog owner:

2. Be kind and giving, not just to others but also to yourself!

Are a reward of their own.

Kindness makes you happy and happiness makes you kind! When you give with no ulterior motive and only out of the goodness of your heart, you will feel a sense of high. Kind people are happy and high on life. When you are happy and high on life, you feel light. I cannot reiterate that enough. You can only feel that lightness if you get there. So if you want to do something that helps you get there, being kind is a very fast and efficient way. If you take a look at unkind people, you will see that they are unhappy and bitter. It shows in their face. They look mean and angry. They don’t look like they are enjoying where they are, which makes them impatient and rough to others. Kind people enjoy helping others and never feel robbed of their time. They don’t get impatient with others because they love to give and help. And that makes them feel lighter. Kind people have an aura of innocence around them. It almost makes them look childlike. Very true. The younger a person looks for their age, the kinder they are.

Now I know, those readers who know me, are now thinking I mean myself, because I am way older than my looks show. I shamelessly admit to that. And I bluntly put myself forward as a suitable example (Laughs….). I consider myself, with all my flaws, warts and all, a kind person. So, without much further ado, or any doctor’s quote, take a look at me and remember how kindness makes you high and look younger!

It makes you look sweeter and younger.

Bitterness and anger make you look older than your age. Now there is nothing wrong with looking old. We all get old and older. It’s a natural process. It’s life. However, looking „older“ than your age, is not a natural process. People who look older, don’t laugh, don’t do silly things, don’t do kind things (or if they do it’s calculated), always look serious, and look at life as something to take care of, not a blessing to treasure and to live. These people have little to no room for kindness, not even towards themselves. In other words, kindness is a BS they got no time for. Acts of generosity, if ever engaged in, are not random to them. Everything is planned and calculated. Nothing is heartfelt or stems from a heart space. These people can’t give, and if they have to, it¹s because they have to. These people look older than their age. I rest my case with a big, fat smile……from the bottom of that very large space called my kind heart! 🙂

3. Do a Grudge Sale!

Don‘t let grudge weigh you down.

Don’t hold a grudge! Bottling up negative emotions against a person makes you feel as heavy as lead! It’s an unnecessary weight, pulling you down. This doesn’t mean you should ignore your hurt feelings. It simply means you should not dwell in them and let the person who has hurt you occupy your precious mind. If someone has hurt you, acknowledge the act, feel the feelings it gives you, express the emotions it has left you with, and then let it go. Close the chapter and sell your story to the devil. If the person comes for an apology, fair enough. If they feel really sorry, give them a chance to explain and let them repent. It might do them good. And because you’re kind, you will let them repent. If they’re not sorry for what they have done, it’s obviously because they’re not sorry for what they’ve done. In that case, stay away from them and do not dewell in your negative emotions towards them. Put up a sign for Grudge Clearance Sale!You don’t have to forgive anyone but yourself. Do that. Forgive yourself, realease the anger and or sadness….go for a grudge sale! You will feel lighter after selling all your grudge to the devil.

Now there are many other things you can do to feel lighter, I mean emotionally, of course, not physically (Laughs….) . But if I were to name too many of them here, you would probably lose interest and stop reading. Let that be my next piece of advice, which is:

Welcome minimalism into your life.

The less you have, the lighter and happier you will be.

To be a minimalist, you’re going to have to accept living with less than 150 things. Basically, you decide NOT to have it all. It doesn’t mean you can’t have it all. It just means that you make a conscious choice of reduction. You simply pick a few things that are quintessential to your happiness, and make sure you have them. Then you get rid of the rest. And believe me, we don’t need 150 things to be happy (or was I too modest and you were thinking 1000 things??). Same is true when trying new things. I only chose 3 pieces of advice for you to consider because once we are overwhelmed by too many things, people and ideas, we start rejecting them. It’s like having a huge house with a lot of luxury items, closets full of fancy clothes, safe full of fancy watches and jewlry, cellar full of wine, car full of high-tech gadgets, office full of state-of-the-art equiment, and so on and so forth. You get the picture. Once you have too many things, you won’t be able to take one and enjoy that one fully. And believe me, there is nothing wrong with material possessions. What happens often, though, is that you end up assigning too much importance to them….to the detriment of your relationships, your passions and love for yourself and others. You’ll skip or ignore many other things, people and ideas in search of more and more things, people and ideas. Reducing your options gives you peace of mind and a lot of happiness, freedom and lightness. You will then find time and focus left for what really matters. Having too much of everything means you are spreading yourself too thin, yet not getting much of anything.

By the same token, you don’t need to know 101 ways to feel lighter within. If you can only try 3, there is a good chance you will get there…..faster than you think.

Lightness is a choice….

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Home Is A Feeling Not A Place

When people ask me where my home is, I don’t give them a country, city, or street address, unless I am applying for a visa to Russia! (laughs…..). I tell them my home is someone giving me a reason to stay and some place that makes me want to go back to every day. Home is the feeling of being welcomed, loved and able to let your guard down. This is why home is not a place, but a feeling.

What about you? What or where is home to you?

Author and owner of this blog: Queen of Wands , link below:

To have a home you have to feel at home…

Home is where you feel safe.

One of the basic human needs is feeling safe, not just physically but also emotionally. There are many things that can make a person or space feel unsafe. We can go from obviously threatening situations such as riots, wars, dangerous killers, or animals to more subtle, nonetheless complicated situations such as unsettled relationships, unfamiliar faces and surroundings, unloving people and empty faces. Yes empty faces are extremely unsettling, and when you feel unsettled, fear begins to take over and you feel unsafe. You can live in the safest country in the world, with the least dangerous and most seemingly peaceful person or people on this planet, yet feel very unsafe, i.e. emotionally unsafe. And if that’s how unsafe you feel, you have no home. Home is not a place, it’s a feeling. Anyone or anything that stands in your way of feeling safe and disrupts your sense of security is only an obstacle in building that foundation you call your home. Before you consult a real estate agent for the perfect white picket fence home, try removing all those obstacles which are the real reaon why you don’t have a home! Just saying!

Be the queen or king of your castle!

Own that castle in the sky!

Most people believe home to be a physical place providing structure and external stability. But what is home? If you look in a dictionary it says: „The place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.“ Really? Is that home?That’s too technical for my taste. I would prefer to dig way beyond a concrete description. A home is not just an abode we live in, that would be a house. And let me tell you…..a house is not always a home. A home is not built by bricks, wood or whatnot! A home is a feeling of nurturing and love that you can take with you anywhere you go. True to some degree, that roof on your head is in fact the first step towards the foundation of stability, beware though, that’s only the first step. What makes or breaks your home is in fact people that surround you. If you are surrounded by people who radiate contempt, misrust, envy, hostility and emotional unavailability thus making it impossible for you to connect and give and share love, feel free to consider yourself homeless. Home is people who make you feel secure. People who ease your worries because they’re standing next to you. Those that remind you, whatever it is you are going through, you aren’t going through it alone. Those who give you something to want to come back to. Surround yourself with loving, kind, generous and open-hearted and vulnerable people who don’t stonewall you and you will feel like the owner of that castle in the sky! 😉 Take my word for it!

(Reminder: the post you are reading is written by author/blog owner: )

The right attention gets the right attention! 😉

If you check you, no one can wreck you!

Safety, though, is not always acquired through others. In fact, feeling safe starts from within. It is as much an internal achievement as it is external. So don’t always just look for or rely on others to make you feel safe. To feel really safe, you have to feel safe from within, and the best way to do so is by spending time alone each day. When you spend some time alone, you can be present in your own world and become aware of your own true feelings and tap into your intuition, which can guide you in many, many unsafe places and surroundings, Take some time alone each day and check with yourself and your emotions. Ask yourself questions and give yourself honest answers. Find out what changes are necessary in order for you, yourself, to feel more at peace, serene and safe and at home. Only then can you generously share that feeling of home with another, if you so choose. Remember: if you check you, no one can wreck you…..or your home.

Homewrecker number one!

Not solo, yet so low!

This pun was once sadly intended. Let me tell you how. Living with emotionally available people makes you feel very safe. The strength of a person lies within their emotional availability and vulnerability, not their physical strength. The person who loves you, respects you, is there for you, is open, vulnerable and accepting of you, with or without your flaws, that person is very strong and makes you feel safe and strong, and that’s the person you can make feel safe and stronger in return. Unsettled relationships are those that offer no such thing. I lived with a man (my ex) who for the last 3 to 4 years of our marriage made himself emotionally unavailable to me. I can tell you, for one thing, these 3 to 4 years felt like the most insecure and unsafe years of my life to me. We lived in a big house with a big garden, fancy and safe neighborhood in the suburbs, all those everythings that mean nothing……and I felt unsafe, i.e. emotionally unsafe. I lived in a big house, yet had no home. A person who lives within the realms of emotional integrity will not make their emotions unavailable to the one they share a roof and life with. That’s one of the most cruel things to do to a person, especially if they have a long history and family together. That is that. All I can say is: that lack of integrity of emotions leads to one of the most emotionally unsafe environments. Although I wasn’t technically solo, I felt solo and so low! I suffered way too long until I got separated and moved out. Now in a small apartment in the city, I feel the safest I have in the past 4 years. This safety started out in me. I found home in me, and later, I started surrounding myself by those who felt like home, kindred spirits. I feel at home now. I am not sure how long I will be staying in this city apartment, but one thing is for sure, it’s not the place……it’s the feeling. I feel safe….I feel at home.

Feel that feeling…