Do You Really Need A New Year’s Resolution?

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Ask yourself this: Why am I setting goals for the new year

What you want will take you there.

Why do you set goals for the new year if your past experience shows that you will abort project? Why bother? Is it like some sort of buried treasure you get out of your chest (pun intended) every year before the new year only to find yourself burying it again some time in the new year? If that’s what you are doing then perhaps you should review your motives. For one thing, do you always need to achieve something, be it in the physical, mental or emotional realm? Or do you just want to be happy? This takes me to the next point…….

Be mindful, not mind full

Let me tell you something…. life has taught me, that if you constantly want to achieve something, you will never be happy and if you always want to be happy, you will never achieve anything! Catch 22! I got you all confused, didn’t I? Let me elaborate on this a bit. When you are on that mad track of future achievement, you will also be on the sad track of missing out on the present. These two things are oxymorons. You can’t have them both. And that sad track will sooner or later kill your motivation and make you procrastinate, in which case, you will find yourself in the never-ending vicious circle of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. You need to declutter your mind and purge out the thoughts of all the things you think you “have” to do. When your mind is full with aims that are more or less obligations, you will only find yourself in a hamster wheel. People will see you as that “busy” person, who gets things done, but are you getting them done or out of the way? If you have to get things “out of the way”, you are doing yourself injustice, and this injustice is what leads to procrastination. If you decide to do something, because you have an innate desire to do it, you will never be relieved when it’s done and over with and you will never want it “out of the way”! You will enjoy every bit of it while you’re doing it, which makes you a “mindful” person, as opposed to a “mind full” one. You will just be satisfied and proud you did it. And guess what? You’d do it again!

Now will soon be gone for ever….

Remember, „now“ will soon be gone forever, and that is the only guaranteed „forever“ you can get in life. (laughs….) Likewise, if you are on the elusive track of wanting to be happy all the time, the way happiness has been defined by others, you will find yourself hitting walls, no matter which way you choose. Doing what makes you happy is not about a concrete, tangible thing that will forever make you happy. Don’t fall victim to the pep talk of „do what makes you happy“, if you think happiness is something to find outside yourself. That’s the mistake most people make. What makes one internally happy might and most probably will be different for each of us. The truth is, life is about balance. If you can achieve balance in the things you do, the only possible outcome is fulfillment and happiness, and for that, you don’t need a resolution. No one can tell you what makes you happy, but yourself. It comes from within you. It’s intrinsic, not extrinsic. If you are constantly worried about what others (outside influence) might think of you or how you might be judged, you will never do those things you (the inner you) really long to do. So make sure that you are the one who gets to choose what makes you happy, and once you really know what it is, there is no way you will ever procrastinate on it. And you know what? You won’t even need a new year’s resolution for it!

Strike a balance in your daily life

Balance is all you need.

No one on this planet is constantly feeling happy and cheerful. We all know that life is full of ups and downs and that we all go through a myriad of events and emotions whether or not we want it. The key to striking a blance is to think more positively while not expecting instant results. Now this „positive thinking“ you all have heard of is not about telling yourself that everything is going to be ok. It is about knowing that everything WILL be ok. That’s just how it is. Nothing lasts forever, good OR bad. Everything changes. So if you find yourself feeling miserable, do something that elevates your spirit. Put the „I feel miserable“ on the backburner, and the thing that elevates your spirit on the front burner. All the while, remember that the miserable thingy will sooner or later subside. It’s a natural law. Meanwhle, enjoy your front burner project, which could be many simple things and everyone has them. That’s how striking a balance works. When you find this balance, nothing, no matter how earth shattering, can scare or demotivate you. You will always find something inside you that will take you to where you want to be. That is the meaning of „positive thinking“. We all know people who think about the negative side of things. Those negative people you want to shake to snap out of it! They claim to be „realists“ and that is very true. However, your reality is what you make of it. Everybody’s reality is by their own making. If I love a hot summer day and enjoy every bit of it, and my neighbor hates it because it’s too hot, we both have our realities. I love the warmth and feel happy. He hates the warmth and feels miserable. That’s his reality, we are both realists. Whatever instance you find yourself in, you have 3 options: 1. you actively like it…… 2. you actively dislike it…..3. you actively shift your focus. It’s all up to you. If you actively like it, you will enjoy it and be happy. If you actively dislike it, you will not enjoy it and be miserable. And if you actively shift your focus because you don’t like it and it bothers you, you will give yourself a chance to pursue something else that you enjoy, and you will be too busy being happy that the thing you didn’t like will have no power over you. It will be there for a while, and you can certainly not sweep it under the rug, but shifting your focus to something else will help you cope with it. Choosing your reality means choosing your focus. That’s how positivity works. And positive people can indeed be realists and live a balanced life. Again, you don’t need a new year’s resolution for striking a balance. It’s a lifestyle.

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Evaluate your priorities

What matters WILL matter!

I’m sure you’ve heard that one too many times. But seriously: what do you really want in life? What or whom do you put ahead of what or whom? (laughs….). Remember, life is short. That one morning that you wake up to realize that life is short, might be the morning you will NOT wake up to realize that life is short! (sad laughs….). No one is going to create your life for you. You are the sole creator with all rights reserved. So find out what truly matters to you (from within) and simply do it. You don’t have to wait until the new year to resolve to that. We don’t need resolutions. All we need is to tap into ourselves.

Happy new year!