Analysis Paralysis? Or Just A Game Of XO

Does making decisions scare you? Do you often find yourself paralyzed when confronted with certain decisions?

The following monolog is an outward, verbal expression of how I felt a while ago, while trying to make a decision that took me too long to make….In the end, I wasn’t sure if waiting that long had helped in any way. More often than not, waiting long does not help.

Author and owner of this blog: Queen of Wands , link below:
http://jeanniealogy.com/index.php/about-her

Confused much?

would it be what I think?
would it last in a blink
of an eye, or is it more?
will it rush? will it pour?

could it be that it’s not
what I dreamed, what I thought?
could it all be a whim?
is it slight? is it dim?

will it live or perish?
will I hate or cherish
what I see, or I won’t?
do I know, or I don’t?

is it right? is it wrong?
am I weak? am I strong?
is it there in my soul?
is it half? is it whole?

Is it easy to know
when it started to flow?
what I sense, what I feel…
is it there? is it real?

if I act on impulse…
am I  true? am I false?
what has come over me?
can I tell? will I see?

is it best to forget?
would I later regret?
should I face it and fight?
should I keep it inside?

will it ever suffice?
can I take a thin slice?
am I thinking too much?
should I just trust my hunch?

is it near? is it far?
should  I look in a star?
can I touch if I reach?
will it make me lose speech?

would this be what I sought?
would it prove? would it not?
is it just an instinct?
is my ship bound to sink?

am I sound ? am I sane?
is it loss? is it gain?
do I need to be sure?
can I go and explore?

will I fall? will I fail?
am I tough? am I frail?
should I go? should I leave?
is the weight hard to heave?

am I more than at stake?
is it me I forsake?
am I conscious or not?
would I want this a lot?

do I fancy or dream?
tell me how will it seem?
if I have to decide…
can I run? can I hide?

is it hard to explain?
is it time to refrain?
if I just let it be…
would it then set me free?

am I just? am I fair?
can I try? can I dare?
should I give? should I take?
will it be a mistake?

should I catch? should I throw?
could it be I don’t know?
am I in the right spot?
is it cold? is it hot?

should I play this X – O…
get it all in a row?
get all X, cross and win?
get all O, win again?

what’ s the best? what’s to choose?
if I play, will I lose?
can I stop, if I start?
is it easy? is it hard?

but  it’s more than a game
might be shine, might be rain
yet  it’s not black or white
there is no wrong, there’s no right

there’s a  pitch, there’s a ball
if I catch, I might fall
in a row, O  or X
in the end, still perplexed

hit-or-miss is my way
if not now, another day
maybe works, maybe not
maybe it’s not what I thought

then again, I think twice
I step back, no surprise
gone too far, it’s too high
shouldn’t believe  I could fly

I go back, I go forth
I go south, when aimed north
I go out of my mind
I get lost, I go blind

Where’s my zone? Where’s my space?
there’s a chance I’ll lose face!
can’t decide, don’t know why
if I were asked,  I couldn’t lie

am I out? am I in?
do I lose? do I win?
all my picks, all my takes….
are they O? are they X?

give myself time to breathe
stay above, search beneath
go through, go beyond
take a look what’s around

I often get confused
I get numb, I get used
to this state, to it all
in the end, I catch the ball

I panic, then I stop
what I catch, I soon drop
game’s still on, X and O
what to pick? I don’t know!

Message lost, message sent
there’s no need to pretend
not so sure what I mean?
read my lines in between!

It’s just a decision….